There was a family that had a parrot that was always embarrassing them by cussing and other stuff like that.

So one day the boy took the parrot and stuck him in the freezer.Two hours later the squawking stopped.

The kid checked the freezer and the parrot said, "Okay I'll stop cussing, but I have one question".

The boy said, "What"?

The Parrot asks, "What did the turkey do???"

HAHAHA :)

Once there was a retired pirate so he decides to live with his brother.

The pirate walks up to his brothers house and knocks on the door and his brother answers the door and says, "Oh my gosh , what happened to your hand!?! "

The pirate said, "I lost it in a sword fight , but now I have a hook."

Then the brother said, "What about your leg?"

The pirate said, "A cannonball hit it , but now I have a peg leg ."

Then the brother said, "Well , what about your eye?"

The pirate said, "I got some dust in it ."

The brother said, "How could you lose your eye by just getting some dust in it?"

Then the pirate said, "It was my first day with my hook!
 
ha ha :)